Aside

Prepare, Position and Conquer “I’m Not Ready”

There’s a common trend among us when it comes to our desires for a life partner. We tend to want one, but not really be ready for one. We’re willing to embrace the intimate thoughts and pleasures of having someone, but we’re not always willing to go through the process of preparing and positioning ourselves to actually have someone for a lifetime. God’s promises aren’t temporary.

Don’t get me wrong. I’M NOT READY isn’t the worst combination of words in the world. In fact, sometimes those are very wise words.  There’s nothing wrong with not being ready. It’s how you follow that statement up that determines whether you help yourself or hinder yourself. It’s why you’re not ready that matters. Not being ready because you simply don’t desire a future with anyone is one thing. Desiring a life a partner and not being ready is another. What do you do when you know this is something you want, but you’re not ready for it just yet?

It’s really this simple. If you’re not ready for it, you need to be GETTING READY for it. Otherwise, you don’t really want it like you say you do. We can say “I’m waiting for whoever God has for me” but how are you waiting? Often times we are the reason our change hasn’t come. You may remember when I spoke to the ladies on The Reason The Change Hasn’t Come some months ago. Feel free to go back and read up.  If you’re not utilizing that waiting stage and preparing, you’ll be repeating yourself for years and never receiving anything. Blessings don’t just drop out of the sky because you say you believe in God. We’ll tell ourselves and others “I’m not ready” and go right back to doing all of the things that keep us from being ready.

You have to position yourself to receive God’s promises. When a quarterback drops back to pass the ball, the wide receiver doesn’t just stand in place until the play is over. He has to run a route and position himself to receive the pass. He has to know how to run that route and get open for that pass. If  you say you want a husband or wife, you have to prepare yourself to be one and position yourself to receive one. You have to learn your position before you can play it. And when it’s time to play it, you have to play to win.

How do you prepare and position yourself?  Work out and get yourself together. Meaning let God work enough of your past out of you, that you can peaceably and faithfully share a future with someone else. If you’re not willing to work out, you’ll never be stronger than you used to be because you’ll always be doing the same things you used to do, thinking the way you used to think, holding onto memories and hurt you used to experience. You’re not fit for anyone. Not a spouse, not a date, not anyone. Unprepared, out of position. How can you expect to receive such a blessing, when you’re not fit for it and you’re not in position to receive it? It can’t work like that.

Take the time to prepare so that when you’re number is called, you’re fit to receive what’s in store for you. You’re not missing anything out there on the scene, other than a bunch of folks, who like just like you, haven’t been preparing. Aren’t you tired yet? Do you really want what God has for you?  Well get it! Put SELF aside, and prepare for something greater than you. If you’re not ready, GET READY. #blessings

 –Jermaine G.

Tough Tears

The toughest acts are often times the softest at heart. Mixing pain with pride is like lighter fluid – the man with the most is the quickest to spark. Quick to react, quick to anger, and even lash out, not because he’s crazy, but emotional. When he feels strongly about being right, and thinks you’ve done him wrong, things become non-negotiable. Understand, anger in many cases pertaining to man, is nothing more than prideful depression. An unfilled void, a need for love, yet too much testosterone to cry out for that need with humility and sincere expression. When things don’t go his way, when people don’t respond the way he expects them to – he’s too much of a man to ask for an understanding, or to express in a humble manor his hurt, concern or fear. Everything you say slowly becomes everything he doesn’t want to hear. He’s kicking into another gear, where that pain meets the pride, and channels all of his disappointments, and fear through the intensity of his eyes. The tone of his voice, and language of his body shout

“don’t play with me”

but beyond the surface, his soul cries. The anger, the hatred, all a cry for help, a need for love in disguise. Why? Because at the end of the day, he gets validation when he hears the people say

“that dude right there is not to be messed with, he don’t play.”

He’d feel like a sukka the day he walked away, and the last thing he wants is for others to think of him and feel the same way.

 

 

Reality dying to feed us all one big lesson. That many people’s reality is nothing more than perception. A day & age where we die over nothing because we’re dying to be accepted. Although no one will really confess it. What defines the man? His spirit or his possessions? With all that he’s gained, what need is there to be angry? The answer is simple. Not even possessions can cure depression. Not every man is a killer because he shows signs of aggression. Not every man with a gun will pull the trigger, many just want to make an impression. No man wants his manhood to be in question. However, the question is – who you trying to please? God or man? See, when someone in the streets does you wrong, and you walk away – they may think you’re weak, but God understands. He understands that you understand. All He’s trying to teach you is that children act out, but you’re supposed to be a man. People are supposed to try you, that’s all part of the devils plan. The way you react lets the world know who you’re validated by, God or man.

 

 

See, as a man, I understand. For so long, so many people have done you so wrong. Even those you attempt to feed, turn around and bite your hand. The women who pretend its you they need, want nothing more than to enjoy the fruits of your labor, deceived by their own beliefs that what you possess is what makes you the better man. The friend who’s only a friend when you give, but never around when you need. So no matter how much you gain, you feel like someone’s trying to take, and what started as a dream turns to greed. You just wanted to do your thing and stack a little cheese. Now you can never have enough, because someone else always has more. Becoming more prideful in that which you have, the more you realize you’re becoming the man all the women are checking for. We all know, wherever there are women, you’re sure to find other men. See, other men are checking for those women who are now checking for you, and this is where the hate begins.

 

 

Like you, there are many other men who channel their pains. Like you, they need more than one woman and bunch of materialistic gains. This is what keeps you sane. It pacifies the ego. It’s a good feeling to have one of the prettiest chicks passenger side your nice ride, saying to herself

“this dude is THAT dude wherever he goes.”

It’s no longer real to just be ordinary people. You gotta do it big, you gotta do it for the people. Oh yeah, I forgot, you gotta do it for your family. But reality is, when I had a bottle in my hand, a stack in my pocket, and chick by my side, the last thing I was thinking about was my FAMILY. I just wanted the world to understand me, the ladies to love me, and the men to never attempt to underhand me.

 

 

But of coarse things don’t always work out the way you plan. So when her loves fails and he tries to cheat you, you become angry,and no one understands. No one understands she was only down because you appeared to be coming up. No one understands he was only down to get to down with the females you were down with, other than that, he really wanted to set you up. No one understands that you’ve been down this road before. But what you have to understand is this road doesn’t end till death, unless you decide you want more. What you must understand is, God knows your pain. What you must understand is, that if you trust Him, He’ll place people around you who regardless of what you have or don’t have, will love you the same. What you must understand is the man that has grown out of being tough has no reason to be ashamed. See, the man who finds love is the man who attempts to provide the world with the opportunity to do the same. You don’t want to be angry, you don’t want people to think you’re crazy, you just want the the things they do, and the way they respond to you to change. But for others to change around you, or towards you, they must first see that you’ve done the same. Don’t be influenced, be the influence – those are the rules to the game. It’s not about people fearing your face, it’s about people respecting your name. Anger and hatred don’t earn respect, it earns more of the same. Never fear you desire to love and be loved – Love is the only cure for pain.

 

 

I wouldn’t tell you this, had I not experienced some of the same. Staying high to balance out my lo’s, while sending brown liquor shots into my vein. When the bloodstream gets worm, the worries seem to fade, but when I became sober, the problems would always remain. I became drained. Consumed with the thought of chasing fame, when really I needed love, but chased the spotlight because the people LOVE fame. This was my claim and my lane. What’s yours? Whatever it is, don’t let anger substitute the real cure.

 

 

Love God, and learn to love yourself. There are others who want to learn as well. Waiting to love you for being the example on how to love, but you must first learn to do that which you’ll one day tell. The world knows you’re a man, don’t spit fire when you want to shed tears. Don’t become a baby, but don’t let the thought of being less than a man become your fear. Tough never lasts.

 

The power is in the love. Love harder.

 

-Jermaine G.

 

Pretty Tears

She hates ignor-ance, yet she ignores what’s real. You know her type. She dates a bunch of status quo’s who ignore the way she really feels. With a smile and physique that attracts celebrity faces, it’s hard to tell her that her lack of patience is a slight case of self hatred. Saturday night she’s wasted, Sunday morning she’s praising, and Monday she’s tweeting class like she’s not the girl who wears her Friday night dress where her waist is. Is there really a lack of sincere people in the world or is it just her poor decision making? Her revolving circumstances just match her associations. Daring enough to look down on the less appealing woman as if she’s too basic. Hardly a fair assessment  considering her relationship resume shows no real love traces. Too many nights shes made love faces only to find out in later days that it wasn’t love making.

Many days its like her heart is in a strange place. Almost impossible for a hopeless romantic to find a love that requires faith. Understand, hopeless is the equivalent of doubt, and romance doesn’t promise love, so her heart is gambling at high stakes. And who really likes to stand by and watch a heart break? Some try to offer guidance, but she ignores their heart beats because she’s more into the heart’s face. Only herself to blame for her heart being in this dark place when the same things that make her cry are the same things that make her heart race.

We’re all entitled to mistakes so you cant judge her. But she’s so into herself she can’t appreciate the ones who love her. She wants what she wants, and what she wants is a good time. She needs a man who has a good name in the spots where the elite toast the good wine. So many lies, so many games, and so many fails. Not hard to understand why love to her is like a fairy tale.  Problem is, if you ever try to correct her, she might just ignore the message depending on who delivers the mail. Yeah you know her type. That’s right I know her too. Was once the one laying next to her as some of those messages were coming through. Indeed, we all reap what we sow, so it wouldn’t be upsetting for me to know that in that fashion, some of my messages were later ignored too.

Nevertheless, this isn’t about me or you, but a woman who’s own reflection hinders her from finding her way to what’s true. She’s searching for a love that really doesn’t exist – the devil dressing up a curse and presenting it as a gift. Always appears to look good until it’s unwrapped. Ironically, at first sight, you’d think her beauty is unmatched. But to another brother who’s been up under her covers, he’s looking at you wondering why you’d ever try to cuff that. A little rap, high heels, and white liquor – true colors start to seep through as her attitude begins to paint the picture.  She’s a bad chick, these others are average, and ain’t too many dudes real enough to handle her package. VIP access, free wine glasses, and can’t forget to take a couple pictures for the masses.

She’s showing off. One would think this is the life, but imagine being confused wanting the devil to show you the light. Thinking you’re doing right, when really you’re running left, your outer perfectly pieced, but your inner a pretty mess. Who understands? Most don’t,  and most never will, because the look is what attracts, nobody focuses on what’s real. At least not in the field where she chooses to play. Hard to understand her pain when this is the bed in which she chooses to lay. Just understand, sometimes when she’s smiling from ear to ear, it’s not always joy – sometimes she’s fighting back the tears. She fears………….

To confess that she’s pretty and lost.

THE CURE?

She needs love; A communication that doesn’t require nude body language, but the type that digs deep into her soul and can sweep up her foundation. Her pride needs breaking, but her heart needs rebuilding. She doesn’t need someone who admires, she needs someone who can identify where her soul needs healing. Someone who see’s her beauty without paying her looks any mind. Someone who can show her it’s not about the spotlight, but about the way her spirit shines. She needs love, not necessarily someone who wants to pursue, but someone that’ll help her find her way b/c like her they were once lost too. 

As I always say…The power is in the love. 

– Jermaine G.

Get Over Yourself

If a man thinketh himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. – Galatians 6:3

 
We tend to think too highly of ourselves, and not highly enough of God – Which is why we treat other people like they are beneath us. Pretty faces have shallow standards in men. Popular men have shallow preferences in women. Anything outside of these preferences is considered lame, thirsty, not on my level, etc etc. We treat the less fortunate like we were born with gold spoons in our mouths and never experienced not having. 
 
If they can’t afford those red bottoms i’m wearing, they’re broke. If they’re not in VIP, they’re not important, if their hair, make-up, and body don’t look a certain way, they’re ugly. All of these things flow through our brains daily, and the evidence reeks in the way we communicate and respond to others on our FB/Twitter/IG timelines. Immature, insecure, irrational.
 
We treat people like they aren’t worthy of breathing the same air we breathe as if we’re Gods, and we justify it all with what we’ve been through. We scream “DON’T JUDGE ME” without considering the way we judge people before even giving them a chance to say “Hello.”  The judgement we cry about is usually justified, but instead of holding ourselves accountable, we abuse the one bible verse the world has fallen in love with. How many of us have read any further to know what the rest of the Bible says about judging, and accountability for actions? 
 
People with integrity blame their choices for their circumstances, people with pride blame their circumstances for their choices. The difference between the two reflects in the way they treat strangers and enemies. And guess what? Social networks are a platform that keep all of us on full display in the way we treat friends, family, STRANGERS and ENEMIES.
 
We’ve all been through situations that seemed to be unbearable. There are many on your timeline who grew up without a mom or a dad, many who have been abused and mistreated all their lives, many who can’t afford the latest Jordan’s or newest smart phone, many who are fighting to provide as single parents, etc etc..Everyone has a story. No one knows your story from front to back, but no one has to read an entire book to figure out the plot or its main characters.  What does your cover say about you? How about the credits, and table of contents? B/c see, these are the things you post on social networks EVERYDAY! 
 
The way you look, the type of photos you take,  the God or people you give praise to, the words and tone you use to express yourself, the type of attention you draw to yourself. No one has to by a book to know what it’s about – remember that. MANY of us say don’t judge a book by it’s cover, but don’t want other books on the same shelf if their covers don’t look as appealing as ours. The irony. 
 
Reality – Books are not being judged by their covers, people are being identified by what they put out to the public, and not owning it. Your thoughts define who you are, and social timelines are nothing but a collection of your thoughts. If you’re on here everyday, there are people who know more about you than you’d like to believe. So if you don’t want people reading into your story, don’t post, or don’t add them to your space where they have liberty to do so. Borders can’t welcome all customers into their store, and say only people with degrees are allowed to read the books. It doesn’t make sense. 
 
I say all of this to say – We have to get over ourselves. We blame others for our pain, and make excuses for giving that pain off to someone else. No one deserves your attitude just because you’re not in a good mood. No one deserves your wrath because you’re not happy with your past. Don’t get on the internet if it’s that bad. Go somewhere and pray, get yourself together, and come back to communicate with love and grace.
 
No one deserves to feel inferior to you because you think you’re sexy, handsome, rich, or popular. None of that impresses anything more than the human eye. You want to be impressive? Move a mountain with your faith. You want to be impressive? Walk by someone who’s sick, and they be healed by your shadow. Until then – Pick up the Reality Menu and you’ll see that your past/present tribulations are trying to serve you a slice of humility and a glass of chill. 
 
If you just think you’re that hot, you’re not HOT! None of us are THAT HOT! We’re all equal. If you’re such a baller, buy that woman a ring, a house, and take care of her and them kids for the rest of your life. If you’re such a bad chick, keep a man, (a HUSBAND) and keep him too prayed up to be consumed by the evils. If you’re so real, why do you have so many issues with fakes? Does real not recognize real AND fake? Fakes wouldn’t make into your circle if you were THAT REAL. If you’re so popular amongst the people, count out how many souls you’ve saved, and compare it to all the likes and comments you get. We are NOT THAT HOT! 
 
We lash out at many because we’re hurt, we ignore others because we think we’re better, we laugh at the less fortunate because we’re insecure, and we congregate with groups that we think can cover it all up through common interests, trends, and good times – We call those groups friends. Ironically none of those FRIENDS hold us accountable for all of the above. But who cares? We’re a part of something that others can’t be a part of. Right?  We (including me), need to get over ourselves. 
 
The way we treat others is beyond sad at times – It’s in all actuality our spiritual sickness. We can’t figure out why happiness comes and goes quicker than a smile turns to a frown. We can’t figure out why we’re so irritated, so quickly everyday. We can’t figure out why circumstances don’t change. We have to consider OUR WAYS and stop thinking more highly of ourselves, than we think of the God who made us all equal. Learn love – Learn how to love – Not just the people you like – Learn how to love everyone. Just like you think you deserve to be treated fairly, so do others. Partiality is a disease, and we need a healing. Live with a Greater purpose.
 
I say this all with love – B/c I love Jesus – I love me – And I love ya’ll.
We can do better. 
 
-JG

SETTLING DOWN

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SETTLING DOWN

It’s not about finally deciding you want to commit to one person in life. It’s about gaining an understanding of what’s needed in your life versus what’s not, and learning to take your foot off the gas at times you don’t need to be moving. It’s like growing out of that phase of speeding for no reason at all, and learning how to cruise and enjoy the sights as you travel. Remember that child, or young adult when they first got a drivers license? The one who was so amped to be behind the wheel, they just sped everywhere?! Parking lots, highways, side roads; always speeding. Sure you remember, because that was most of us at some point and time.

Settling down is the process of maturation, the process of realizing you don’t have to drive so fast to get to where you’re going. It’s the change of heart and mind that makes you look at that need for speed as foolishness. That need for speed is the equivalent to our need to fulfill our worldly desires. That constant pursuit of entertainment and pleasure through vain outlets. Sure, no one really wants to be the sitting duck in an empty pond, but that is simply a state of mind that forces most of us out the door into venues, homes, and other places we really don’t need to be. You’re no duck, you’re a human-being, sitting is a sign of discipline, and the pond is a body of still water, which represents peace.

What am I saying? When you’re settled, you’re content. You’re at peace within, regardless of what the majority is doing on the outside. Not content with your progression, but with your state of being. You don’t need to be around a lot of people, acting out to enjoy life, you don’t need to be out doing something to feel like you have a life. You’re content with what life itself provides you – A chance to breathe, a chance to improve, a chance to give back that which you’ve gained to those who are trying to reach your mark; all in thanks for another day.

No, settling down doesn’t mean you’ll never get out and experience things. You still get out, but at a different pace, and most times in a different setting. You still communicate with others, but with a different tone, and at different volumes. Settling down doesn’t mean you’re wrapped in your closet like a mummy. (Although some of us may need to be) Settling down just means you’re not hasty to do things that aren’t beneficial to your well-being, like you once were. Settling down as an individual is a true sign of adulthood, and the signature of a great candidate for someone else to settle down with.

Jermaine G.

Take The Lesson Leave The Pain

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Many of us allow the past to keep us stagnant in the present. Forgive the person who hurt you without holding on to what hurt you. Take the lesson and leave the rest behind. There’s only room to hold onto what you need; anything else becomes baggage.

What’s the difference between holding onto what someone did and applying the lesson, you may ask. I’ll tell you.

Holding onto what someone did, is holding onto the pain and resentment. You can’t grow in love with pain and resentment in your heart.

Applying the lesson to your life, is taking what didn’t kill you and allowing it to build you in character, mind, and in spirit.

Ie: Taking the lies to help you be more keen in identifying the truth, apposed to it making you scared to unwrap your present, thinking there might be a future full of more lies in it.

You can’t get what God has for you, if you don’t trust Him to give it to you. Trust YOU less, because YOU got yourself into that old mess, and trust GOD more b/c HE’LL get you out of it. This is a must in letting go and living free; confessing your involvement in your own hurt, and seeking the right help.

Trials, tribulations, heartbreak, etc…These things are teachers, and builders, but a lot of us are too prideful to be students. We think we know what we want and how we want to be; and we’re fine with that until life takes us through all over again!

Can’t keep skipping class and failing tests, but be looking for a cap and gown. Don’t you want to graduate in life? Aren’t you tired of the same ole?!

Pass the test! Get past your past! If it wasn’t worth keeping then, it most certainly isn’t worth holding onto now.

You’re capable. We all are.

Be blessed.

Between The Lines “Life Lessons”

Do it for the love, not for the recognition. When they recognize that, the love will be reciprocated, and not fabricated. Don’t look for attention,  just pay attention. Forget about who doesn’t like you, remember God loves you. Sometimes when you extend your hand, family will try bite you, and friends will try to drug you. One feels you owe em, the other wants to influence you. Your house could be empty before you realize they’re all using you. Love is selfless, don’t be selfish.  Lust in the eyes that keeps us blind. Open your mind, pray from your heart. Expect to be bit, when entertaining the bark. Believe in the Lord thy God, He always finishes what he starts, but first decide that you’re finished so that He can start.

Man has a way that he thinks is right, but Jesus is the way, the truth and the light. Play in the dark, get caught in the traps. The blind will forever lead the blind.  Toast together, smoke together, get buried side by side. Everyday another man dies, keep the tears from your momma’s eyes.  More hope in God, less expectation in man. Reiteration I know, but do you really understand? Your president is black, but the soul has no color, so regardless of the next man’s voting status, you’re still  to love them as your brother. If you lack love, you lack life. When God says move, don’t think twice.  Don’t throw shade when trying to shed light. Maturity is measured in your response to your adversary. Forgive everyone for everything, but put nothing past anyone. Who are you to hold a grudge, and in the same breath request not to be judged? Hateful with a desired to be loved. Don’t be that guy, don’t be that girl. A woman should never accept diamonds in exchange for her pearl. Vows and commitment or better, nothing less. Fall victim to the game, possessions will have you possessed. Be careful, not careless.

If you wanna keep it real, live right. Otherwise your definition is tainted, your truths poisoning someone else’s life. Keep it real, that dress is too tight. Way too high for a man not to aim low. Keep it real, you told her you loved her knowing you wanted to treat her like a hoe. Learn the meaning of repercussion, we all reap what we sow. That’s real. Adapt the character of kings and queens, come together as brothers and sisters, honor thy mother and thy father.  The gossip, the games, the complaining, the pain, why bother? It’s choice. Stay off the court if you don’t want to get played. Be a man, take care of that woman, go to work, get paid. It’s not rocket science, it’s drive, hustle, ambition, responsibility. Love her, grow old with her, marriage is honorable. Stay clear of temptation, life can become miserable over sex that was phenomenal. Prosper, what’s stopping you? You’re stopping you. God doesn’t put you on a coarse unless He knows you can overcome the obstacles.

It’s not walking by faith if you don’t believe what isn’t in your sights. Times change, morals shouldn’t. Can’t tip-toe in the dark and try to walk in the light. Trying to live right, friends will say you’re wrong. The light shines on that darkness and you discover they were foes all along. Keep your head high, but never poke out your chest. God hates the proud. Tell your friends the truth, or pray. Entertain a lie, and you’ll live one. A little mischief sparks a lot of trouble. The devils weapons are more powerful than man’s biggest gun. Keep your hands to the sky in praise, and your ten toes down. Speak blessings, quit cursing. Every word that leaves your mouth eventually comes back around. Remember that. All of that. Until we speak again.
Love.

Broken (written by an anonymous reader)

You ever felt so broken…. Looking in the mirror and you don’t know who you see?

I never knew how broken I was, while I was, until after the storm. It was like a tornado came through my life, tore my house(me) upside down, threw around all the loose pieces in my home, and then the storm just passed over. Now the sun is shinning, but my house or what’s left of it,  is still a wreck. I try to salvage what I can,  but there isn’t much. Everything is just BROKEN.

That was me after realizing I was in a toxic relationship that almost took my life away, both figuratively speaking, and literally. No I wasn’t beaten or abused, but I put myself through a mental hell, because I wouldn’t walk away and stay away. I may not have spoken on everything I saw but,  I saw everything .  This man wouldn’t leave me and I wouldn’t leave him. BROKEN

I was with someone who didn’t wanna give me all of them, but I was giving them all of me. Someone that could have me smiling with a text, and within an hour,  have me feeling so down because of something he might have said to me.  I was matching what he gave, but trying to do a little extra, hoping he would choose me, thinking I might as well just stick around because of the attention he showed me. I get attention everyday but, it was him who made me smile, and him who made me feel good. So I forsook all the right things that I was taught growing up; fornication , how if a man really wants you he would be with you, how love doesn’t hurt , or stress you out or cause depression.  BROKEN

I was broken, thinking I wasn’t good enough, but on the outside nobody would know.  Knowing I’m beautiful, but that he didn’t want me, exclusively broke me down. BROKEN

BUT GOD
The great I am
Saved me from this life; from myself.
Even if I wanted to continue this life of destruction, God had a hold on me. He snatched me up and told me “no more will I let my daughter live this life”

So now the joy of the lord is my strength! He healed me from depression. He saved me. I may not cross every T and dot every I, but hold strong onto the lord.

– anonymous

Are You The Reason Your Change Hasn’t Come?

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THINGS CHANGE WHEN YOU CHANGE.

Anytime I hear women complaining about the dogs they deal with, one scripture comes to my mind out of Amos; Can two walk together except they agree? Understand, dogs do not mate with cats; Not ever! The type of men you attract, and connect with, go hand & hand with the type of woman you are. Sure we’ve all dated someone we thought the world of in the beginning, only to find out that they were hell on earth, but when your resume is full of dogs, there’s a problem; A problem greater than just the dogs you date. And blaming it all on the male gender is not the solution. You will never have a real man with an all men are dogs state of mind.

You want the right man? Quit submitting your body to the wrong attire, your time to the wrong activities, your eyes to the wrong sights/sites, your mind to the wrong imaginations, your heart to the wrong gods. All of these things play a factor, because see, the right man is looking for a woman who believes in doing things the right way; And the reality is, a lot of women settle for the wrong man because his standards don’t require them to change. Some of you may shake your head in disagreement, but it’s the truth.

God gives according to what you can handle. He’s not just gonna send you a husband when you still have girlfriend state of mind. He’s not gonna give you a life partner when you’re not ready for that life. Sometimes we think we can handle certain things, but God sees what’s up ahead and knows, it would be like putting a minor with no driving experience behind the wheel of a brand new car; An accident waiting to happen. Understand that, nothing that is meant for any of us in life, is withheld from us when it’s time for us to have it. The only person who can keep you from receiving what God has for you, is you.

If you’re tired of dating dogs, what are you gonna do about it? If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. If you’re just pointing fingers, chances are, while digging up the bones in his closet, you’re ignoring the bones falling out of your own. The moment you reach down to pick up one of your own to compare to one of his, you’ll be shocked at the realization that, there are two dog bones in your hand.

Ask yourself what it is you’re really looking for. When God speaks of a man, and him having a wife who is fruitful to his soul, He’s speaking of a man who fears Him. A blessed man. (psalms 128) …He’s not talking about a man who’s bands will make you dance. He’s not talking about a man who’s taking you to the strip club to throw racks and pop bottles. He’s not talking about a man who takes pride in his red bottoms, and big wheels. See, God doesn’t make mistakes; He sends you what you need, the devil sends you what you want. There’s a difference. The soul needs love, the flesh wants entertainment

There’s a difference between a God-fearing man, and a man who’ll take you to church on Sunday, but not be about the life for the rest of the week. Some of you may be asking yourself “well why does he have to be god-fearing?”  He doesn’t , but tell me how that’s been working out for you thus far? Ever noticed how all of those great qualities you say you want in a man never tend to be in the men you date? That’s no coincidence. Are you not aware that it takes the Christ in a man for him to really love you the way God intends for you to be loved? Show me a man who doesn’t have a real fear (reverence) for God, and I’ll show you a man who’s capable of hurting you with no remorse.  You can attempt to make the argument that men of God aren’t perfect. No, they’re not. If you wan’t perfect, search for Jesus, and not a man. That’s really the answer to all of a woman’s problems, believe it or not. Not only will He change you as a woman, but He’ll show you that the man for you is nothing like everything you’ve been dealing with all your life.

I’m not condoning the wrong doing that a lot of men do, and i’m not saying there aren’t some trifling men out there. There are plenty, but plenty has nothing to do with the one authored to be in your life. Your story is already written out. Don’t go picking up the pen, trying to re-write history. If you want what’s right for your life, you have to at least be trying to live your life right. You don’t have to be perfect, but you have to be attempting to meet God’s standards. If you’re not trying to do these things, you’re not allowing God to enhance you, and prepare you, which raises the question; What sets you apart from the typical woman who deserves exactly what she’s been getting? What makes you so different?

That’s why it’s so important that you don’t get caught up in looking for a man, but focus on learning how to be a woman, and wife. You can’t expect to be treated like Ruth, when you’re more like Jezebel. (Read up on the two if you haven’t already.)  Remember, the right man isn’t looking for a good woman, he’s looking for the right woman. Your definition of good, might be someone else’s definition of bad, but God’s definition of right can not be modified. I encourage you to do less groaning about the wrong man, and become the right woman. Learn what’s right, not according to your own knowledge, but according to God. What’s right for you will come to you in the right time and season. Oh, and know this – God doesn’t need your help finding you a husband.

KEY QUESTIONS

1. What are you really looking for? (Really think about what you apply your thoughts and time to)

2. Is your personal will more of a priority than God’s will for you?

3. Are you willing to let God change you?

Take some time to answer these 3 questions, and leave your comments if you desire.

God bless.

You Might Be

You might be the perfect opportunity, and still they might ignore the knock. You might be the best thing for them, and they may want the worst thing for them. 

You might be in love with them, and they might be in lust with someone else. You might take a bullet for them, and they might never stop fighting to get that type of love from someone else.

Then again…..You might be dreaming. You might need to wake up and realize, the person you thought you loved is someone you never thought they were. Sure the ultimate goal is to love everyone, but not everyone is worth trying to fall in love with. 

The heart is deceitful…….Who knows it? No one but God. Put your heart in God’s hands and let Him show you who to love, how to love, and when to let go. 

Jermaine G.